In life, there are times when even if we are already adults, we suddenly realize that we are trapped in control and dependence, which we did not even realize when we began to have.
Is that control who’s not allow us to move forward, that even makes us maintain fear of what we can find in life…
Call it your parents (because you still depend economically of them), your partner (because you put his/her dreams before yours), even your boss (because you do not feel comfortable with what you do, but still, you feel you can’t find something better).
Part of being human is just that, being afraid to change, to have the feeling that everything could fall apart just because we made a bad decision.
I Confess I’ve been in that situation… You’ll see, a few years ago I was in a spiral of giant anxiety, which have some very dark and sad moments, not because I had problems around, it was just my mind that felt trapped in a hole, which in those days it seemed impossible to leave.
It was not drugs or alcohol abuse, or any kind of violence at home, it was that I did not feel comfortable living the way I was doing, indulging the decisions of all others and leaving mine relegated to the background.
It’s amazing 7 years has pass since then, and it’s amazing looking back, how I let all those things happen. The point of all this I’m telling is that although it was strong, so was my desire to get out of that hole, to turn that sad moment into a positive one, one that would give me the necessary push to keep going .
Along the way I learned something important: Freedom is something we give ourselves, because we can’t let the decisions to live in peace and tranquility been taken by others in our life!
I will not tell you all that transformation takes a number of steps, or that in any number of months you will feel that change in your life, because it is not, it’s a change that should be made a habit, even today, I continue my process, and each time those fears that once had life become more tiny and imperceptible.
However, from my point of view I can tell you:
1. Makes decisions primarily thinking of you: although you may don’t know the consequences, keep in mind that you are doing those actions because your heart and mind say it, not because someone sent you, or even worse, you’re indulging.
2. Learn to love yourself: it sounds simple, but is quite complex, because loving yourself means learning to accept the failures you may have, but exploit the virtues that life has given you.
3. Shows the world those virtues: because nothing is done if you have them hidden, if you painting, singing, or even if you’re a mathematical genius, now is the time to take them out and show it to the world, who says you’re not the next global change?
4. Say NO to items or people who are moving you away from that freedom: it’s complicated at first, but getting rid of those bonds will create in you a much better sense of what you want to do.
5. Dare to trust, love, laugh, feel, express your emotions: because there is nothing better in the world that seeing the results of the effort you made, I have to Confess that as I write these lines, I have a giant smile knowing all this will be part of one of my dreams, this great blog!…
Come on, let’s get outside, the world is waiting to meet you…
En la vida, hay momentos en que aun cuando ya somos adultos, de repente nos damos cuenta que estamos atrapados en un control y una dependencia de la cual ni siquiera nos dimos cuenta cuando la comenzamos a tener.
Es ese control, el que no nos permite avanzar, nos hace incluso mantener cierto temor a que podemos encontrar más allá en la vida, llámalo tus padres (porque aún dependes en parte económicamente de ellos), tu pareja (porque antepones sus sueños a los tuyos), incluso tu jefe (porque no te sientes a gusto con lo que haces, pero aun así, sientes que no puedes encontrar algo mejor).
Parte de ser humanos es justamente eso, sentir miedo a los cambios, tener la sensación que todo podría venirse abajo simplemente porque tomamos una mala decisión.
Yo Confieso que he estado en esa situación… Verán, hace unos años atrás estuve en una espiral de ansiedad gigante, en la cual hubo momentos muy oscuros y tristes, no porque tuviese problemas alrededor, simplemente mi mente se sentía atrapada en un hoyo del cual en esos días parecía imposible salir.
No fue por abuso de drogas o alcohol, o por violencia en mi hogar, era que no me sentía a gusto viviendo de la forma en que lo estaba haciendo, complaciendo las decisiones de todos los demás y dejando las mías relegadas a un segundo plano.
Es increíble como ya de eso han pasado 7 años, y es más increíble viendo en retrospectiva, como dejé que muchas de esas cosas sucediesen. Lo importante de todo esto que les cuento es que si bien fue fuerte, también lo fueron mis ganas de salir de ese hoyo, de convertir ese momento triste en uno positivo, uno que me diese el empuje necesario para continuar adelante.
En el camino he aprendido algo importantísimo: La libertad es algo que nosotros mismos nos damos!, porque no podemos dejar que la decisión de vivir en paz y tranquilidad sea tomada por terceras personas en nuestra vida.
No voy a decirles que toda esa transformación lleva un número determinado de pasos, o que en una cantidad de meses ya van a sentir eso en sus vidas, porque no es así, es un cambio que debe hacerse hábito, porque incluso hoy día, mi proceso lo continúo haciendo y cada vez se hacen más minúsculos e imperceptibles esos temores que una vez tuvieron vida.
Sin embargo, desde mi punto de vista puedo decirles que:
1. Toma las decisiones pensando primeramente en ti: si bien no sabes las consecuencias, ten en mente que esas acciones las hagas porque tu corazón y mente así te lo dicen, no porque alguien más te mandó, o incluso peor, estás complaciendo.
2. Aprende a amarte: suena sencillo, pero es bastante complejo, porque amarse a sí mismo implica aprender a aceptar las fallas que uno pueda tener, pero explotar al máximo las virtudes que la vida nos ha regalado.
3. Muestra al mundo entero esas virtudes: porque nada se hace con tenerlas guardadas, ya sea pintando, cantando, incluso siendo un genio matemático, ahora mismo es el momento de sacarlas y enseñarlas a todos, quién te dice que no seas el próximo eje de cambio mundial?
4. Dile NO a los elementos o las personas que te están alejando de esa libertad tan necesaria: es complicado al inicio, pero desprenderse de esas ataduras va crear en ti una percepción mucho mejor de lo que quieres hacer.
5. Atrévete a confiar, amar, reír, sentir, expresar tus emociones: porque no hay nada mejor en el mundo que ver los resultados del esfuerzo que hiciste, se los digo yo, que mientras escribo estas líneas, tengo una sonrisa gigante al saber que todo esto va formar parte de uno de mis sueños, este grandioso blog!…
Vamos, sal, el mundo está esperando conocerte…
Confessed… GarMont!
What an awesome post Eli! Great points but also, I must say, the photo is stunning. Hoping you are well and blessed.
Easter 🙂
Hi Easter!!!… It was a very dark time, but with a lot of energy and positivism I finally got out and I’m really good now. The thing is always embrace our freedom, and never let others decide for us… I took that photo on Miami last year, I don’t know, but I always find peace when I’m there… Lots of blessings for you… Have a wonderful day…
I’ve been there too Eli – such a horrible place. I am so proud of you for having the strength to get out at your young age! Pat on the back!
The photo is awesome.
Bless you lots also and ttys.
Easter 🙂
Oh – do you know about Coveyview? it is a site that Meredith set up for the 101ers. Check it out at http://www.coveyview.wordpress.com
It is a new site, so there is a lot of chatter on it, but the hope is that it becomes a place that people from all over the world can post about their home area, where they travel, etc.
Hope to see you there.. but remember, it is still in the works and we’d love to have you with us.
Once again, thank you so much Easter, for such nice comments. I didn’t knew about Coveyview, I’ll definitely check it out… Huge hugs for you… xx
🙂 You’d be a great part of the team!
Big hugs and have a great weekend.
This is such a great post. I love you optimism and congratulations on finding the courage to not give in to your anxiety and move on. 😀
You’re so sweet, thank you so much!!!… I think sometimes today’s world being so fast, makes us less conscious that we have to take a breath and take things calm, because if we don’t, anxiety always finds a way to sneak… xx
increible! me encanta leer lo que escribes!
you rock!
xo
Orly
coffeebeansandhighheels.weebly.com
Orly!!!… Disculpa la tardanza en responderte… Me encantan los posts que tienes en tu blog… Pero, I can’t find you, porque no sale tu Twitter personal o instagram… O prefieres ese anonimato, tipo Gossip Girl??? hahaha… Huge hugs for you!!!… xx Eli!…
I love this! I will be posting my first video vlog on this Wednesday 28th! 😀 Head over to my blog post & ask me any questions/stuff you would like to know about me. 😀 Here is the link: http://inthelifeofsarasandoval.wordpress.com/2014/05/24/get-to-know-sara-ready-set-go/ Thanks! (This is not spam.) 🙂
Hi!!!… Check out my question on your page!!!… Huge hugs para ti amiga!!!… xx
Gracias Eli! El vlog saldra este miercoles! 😀
Lo veré así escucho tu respuesta :D… Abrazos!!!…